Blame Your Past Self
by BadRomance-ao3
Summary: Young Izaya was eager to jumpstart his career as an informant and decides to convince Shiki to hire him to get his name out. Unfortunately, Shiki decided he'd prefer to keep Izaya as a little pet. OOC and perfect if you're in the mood to see a little Izaya suffer. Shikizaya is main pair. Trigger Warnings include: non-con, forced pleasure, abusive relationship, the works.


It's all because Izaya got in too deep.

It was Izaya's final year of high school and he couldn't have been more ready to graduate, still giddy with the joy of having just become a legal adult. He had no trouble getting the attention of the Awakusu-kai. It was a simple matter of tracking down the personal phone number of the executive who deals with information, Shiki, and dazzling him with just a sample of his extensive knowledge of sensitive information about the Awakusu-kai. Izaya gave Shiki his word that he was not attempting something as stupid as blackmailing the yakuza, but merely requesting a meeting with his future employer.

Izaya was all too happy to ditch school for such an important meeting with such an important, handsome older man. But then his life was destroyed before it ever really began.

"Stop daydreaming kitten, it's time to go." Shiki's voice cuts through Izaya's reminiscing, prompting Izaya to rush through the rest of his bath. Shiki is a patient man, but only when he needs to be.

They don't have a formal appointment today, but Shiki is expected to make an appearance at a new nightclub the Awakusu-kai just opened, and Shiki always knows exactly when it is both stylish and professional to arrive. Izaya doesn't want to punishment that's sure to come if he messes that up. Tonight is already promising to be humiliating.

Izaya dries himself quickly and walks out into Shiki's bedroom naked, having graduated from crawling everywhere after being permitted leave his cage. It's the only sort of graduation Izaya actually had.

Goosebumps litter his skin when he leaves the warmth and illusion of security from the steamy bathroom. The intensity of Shiki's stare makes him feel like each and every one of them is accounted for.

"You sure took your sweet time. I know you want to look pretty baby, but we've still got to get you dolled up."

With his eyes lowered to the ground, Izaya walks to Shiki - gritting his teeth behind a neutral expression. "All fours." Izaya doesn't want this, but he doesn't want to be locked in that little cage with a vibrator up his ass more. So he drops down on his hands and knees.

Shiki, as impersonal as ever, fingers Izaya open - only brushing his prostate accidentally, but recently it feels as though his prostate has gotten larger. Izaya knows that can't happen, of course, but he can't help but think it because of how easily he gets achingly hard just from anal stimulation these days. Really, the fingering seems almost superficial at this point. Izaya's so used to taking whatever Shiki wants to put up his ass that he doesn't think he needs the prep.

But usually, Shiki takes the time to lube him up anyway, which Izaya supposes he should be thankful for instead of bitter about how involuntarily aroused he is.

Then, Shiki removes his fingers, leaving Izaya strangely empty for a moment, and grabs the metal anal plug with the pink jewel on the base that he likes so much. Shiki says that Izaya likes it because it keeps him full and looks so pretty. Izaya disagrees. At least… he doesn't think he wants these things. The plug, the pet names, the humiliation, the punishments… It's all become a little hazy since he hasn't been invincible for so long.

The plug slips in easily, only putting up the tiniest bit of resistance around the widest part before being sucked up inside and settling close, but not too close, to his prostate. Shiki, having anticipated Izaya's shameful erection, was prepared with an ice pack. Without warning he presses it to Izaya's penis and testicles, making Izaya hiss through his teeth as he goes flaccid again for Shiki to lock his dick back up in a chastity cage.

"What do you say, kitten?" Izaya's face burns as it hangs low between his shoulders.

"Thank you, Daddy."

"That's a good baby." Shiki praises his obedience with a light smack on Izaya's ass, just enough to jostle the plug and make Izaya keen.

Shiki tosses the clothes he selected and paid for in front of Izaya. Something Izaya supposes is meant to be a kimono but is missing so many pieces it's closer to a long, silk robe. It's mostly black to contrast with Shiki's white suit and decorated with a flurry of pink cherry blossoms and petals. It's beautiful, and clearly for a woman, but Izaya's just relieved to have something to pull over his wiry shoulders.

The final touch is the collar. It's always the collar. High-quality leather is secured tightly around his throat, always buckled at the fourth hole on the back of Izaya's neck. On the front is a metal ring in which Shiki insists on dangling a bell and engraved tag from, marking Izaya as property. Izaya thinks it looks hideous with the kimono, but that doesn't stop Shiki from attaching the leash and leading them down to the car. Every step sends a jolt of agonizing forced pleasure up his spine. As usual, Izaya is blindfolded the entire drive.

:::

The Izaya he was in high school, the Izaya he misses being, wouldn't have hesitated to make eye contact with every single person in the club. This Izaya, the one he's become, wants nothing more than to hide his face in the body of his tormentor if it means he can hide his shame.

Izaya is certain that Shiki loves it. He must. Shiki is so possessive and so insistent upon being Izaya's "Daddy" that he must love having Izaya seek him out for comfort. Shiki allows Izaya to press close to him for security but doesn't let him hide his face. Shiki is warm and smells of deep musk and designer cologne, contrasting with the smell of alcohol that permeates the club despite how new it is.

Despite frequenting the most dangerous parts of the city, nineteen-year-old Izaya has never been permitted a drop of alcohol. He knows it's for the best, that his mind is often hazy enough as it is, but sometimes he wishes for the numbness that alcohol is so famous for.

Shiki and his guards escort him to a VIP room in the back, a relieving change from all the lights and sounds that were threatening to put Izaya into sensory overload. It's been so long since he's been in a crowd. Izaya is sure that he used to like being in crowds, but not anymore.

The VIP couches are plush, a deep, velvety purple, and just soft enough to be bearable against his sensitive skin. Izaya wants to crawl to a corner of the couch and hide himself, maybe nestle under the cushions, but with a sharp tug on the leash, he allows himself to be draped over Shiki's lap instead. The bodyguards effectively scare off any interested stares which come his way.

The two of the bodyguards and Izaya have a special sort of relationship because they've known him from before he became… like this. When Izaya first started working with Shiki, Shiki's possessiveness was apparent but the wild transformation of Izaya's position was gradual. Initially, Shiki kept an eye on Izaya by forcing him to accept having one of his personal bodyguards with him. Izaya didn't like it, but didn't feel as though he was in a position to refuse. Over the period of time in which Izaya had a semblance of freedom he befriended the bodyguard that was assigned to him. Izaya is sure he can see remorse in his eyes when he glances over at him now.

Shiki orders a bottle of sake for his associates who should be arriving soon. He sips on it socially but knows better than to let himself get drunk. He orders a glass of milk for Izaya. Izaya hates milk but drinks it when Shiki brings the glass to his lips.

Throughout the course of the informal meeting, Shiki does permit Izaya to hide his face in his lap. The man with the scar on his eye isn't particularly frightening, but the large man in the blue button-up certainly is. Izaya feels like he's stuck in this dark haze of cigarette smoke, loud noises, and musky cologne forever - being stroked like the pet he's become while shivering as his kimono falls down his shoulders and trying to tune out the dark chuckles at his expense from the big man in the blue button-up. He used to have to endure lewd comments as well, but after a long lecture about respect, that's been reduced to a minimum.

He's mostly used to the plug in his ass, and since he's sitting very still it's not much of a problem as long as Shiki's distracted by the two men in front of him. It's mostly there as a reminder, much like the weight of the collar on his neck. As if Izaya could forget.

And then it's time to go home. "Come on kitten, up you go. You were very good today so you can lie in my lap more when we get back." Shiki orders with a pat on his backside that has Izaya cringing.

Very slowly, carefully, Izaya sits up. The big man in the blue-button up laughs at Izaya's hesitant movements that make the plug in his ass shift terribly.

"Haha, you're too nice to your pretty little pet, Shiki! If it were me, I'd be punishing it in front of the whole club for taking this long!"

"That's because you've got no class, boy is Shiki's business."

The man with the scar on his eye drawls with a passive-aggressive smile, shifting his weight onto his cane.

Before the two of them can snipe at each other any more Shiki excuses them and hauls Izaya out of the room more quickly than he's ready for, making his cock ache shamefully in its cage.

The ride home is long. Shiki keeps his dick forced down Izaya's throat the whole way leaving him to gag and suck in air through his nose. Izaya swears that they took the long way and went over every pothole and speed bump too fast on purpose.

Finally, they're home and Shiki finally stops pushing Izaya's head down and gives him permission to stop warming his cock. Izaya doesn't even have a chance to rub his raw throat and croak out a "thank you daddy" before he's hauled out of the car and inside.

:::

Izaya doesn't know what he was expecting for the rest of the night, but it wasn't this and as odd as it may be, he feels very betrayed. Izaya had no reason to trust Shiki, has ample reason to _never_ trust Shiki - but drugging Izaya feels like it's taking things to another level.

Izaya had licked up the dry, tasteless food from his bowl like any other night without a second thought. Second thoughts were long gone at this point. And after an hour of peace curled up in Shiki's lap, it started happening. The heat had started in his crotch and he didn't think much of it, he still had the plug in, after all. But quickly it turned for the worse and before Izaya could say anything, be it curses or pleas for mercy, Shiki gagged him and forced him into that tiny cage again.

Izaya started to fight back out of panic, but it didn't last long out of fear. While Izaya was kept almost stationary in the tiny cage, blindfolded, Shiki removed the plug, forcing a dribble of precum out of Izaya's caged cock, then replaced it with a vibrator in one ruthless shove. When Shiki turned on the vibrations, Izaya almost came in his cage.

Then, Shiki left the room and Izaya has no idea if he's still in the house somewhere or not.

It's been hours and everything hurts and Shiki hasn't even touched him yet.

After the first half hour, Izaya started to cry as silently as he knew how. After the first hour, Izaya couldn't hold back anymore and made a mess of himself with his wet sobs. Two minutes later, he came in his cock cage from the anal stimulation alone and without having a proper erection - something Izaya didn't know was possible. But nothing stopped or even slowed down - the vibrations continue and the drug pumping through his system kept him aroused despite drifting into painful overstimulation. Within the next hour Izaya was crying for Shiki, and a few minutes later, his Daddy. But it didn't matter how hard he cried or what he tried to say, the gag muffled everything and Izaya was left alone.

Now, Izaya is crying quietly again. His exhaustion is winning out over the pain and the pleasure and even the fear. Tears stream silently down his face, his cock dribbles like a leaky faucet, and every so often Izaya sobs as he suffers through a dry orgasm. And it's still not enough to stop the unbearable heat.

And something shifts inside of Izaya.

He wants his Daddy. If his Daddy was here at least he wouldn't be so scared. He doesn't care if the heat and vibrations never stop, he just doesn't want to be scared anymore.

He ducks his head to feel the hard line of the leather collar dig into his throat just a bit, just enough to comfort himself like it's a security blanket. The next dry orgasm that rolls through him still hurts, but it feels natural. Izaya doesn't know how much more time passes, but it's dark in his little world and all he can feel is fear and the cocktail of pain and pleasure he's becoming dependent on.

Suddenly, a new sound outside of his mindless drivel finds itself in Izaya's ears. The sound of metal clanking against metal as the latch to his cage is opened, and new life floods into Izaya. He starts thrashing and sobbing all over again, calling for his Daddy and trying to apologize despite not knowing what he did wrong, and only cries harder when gentle hands wrap around his waist and pull him out of the oppressive space. The gag is eased out of his mouth as Izaya scrambles for his Daddy's pants, relishing in the contact as he's allowed into his Daddy's lap. Izaya doesn't even pause for a breath while he's begging to be touched.

"Please, Daddy! I'll be good, please! It hurts so much, please make it go away!" He cries, rutting against his Daddy's thighs uselessly.

Then, with no warning, the vibrator is pulled out and Izaya panics. Phantom sensations that just aren't enough wrack his body, making him writhe in his Daddy's arms begging to have it back, to never have to feel it again, for something to make it all better.

And then, the cock cage is removed. Izaya's face is tucked into the crook of his Daddy's neck and two fingers are shoved in his ass to pacify him while he rides out another painful orgasm. The heat is still inside his veins, but for now, Izaya is calm again.

"Fuck, Izaya!"

That… doesn't sound like his Daddy.

Izaya freezes, the arms he's in aren't scary, they're warm and strong, but he's so confused.

"Izaya, snap out of it!" The man shouts, before making himself lower his voice.

"I'm so sorry I let this happen." He murmurs soothingly "I thought I could ignore it but… I just can't live like this. Neither of us can live like this."

The blindfold is removed and even though the lights in the room are dimmed they blind Izaya. Slowly, adjusting to the light and blinking away tears, he focuses on the face above him.

It's the bodyguard who was specifically assigned to Izaya from what feels like another lifetime who looks down at Izaya with those warm, remorseful, brown eyes.

"We've got to get out of here, there isn't much time. Let me take you somewhere far away from this place."

Izaya doesn't know what would make his life worse. Staying with Shiki or going with someone who might try to save him - or might have something worse in store for him.


End file.
